Developer(s): Home Data
Publisher: Irem
Released: 1987
Region: USA
Win Condition: Complete at least Phase 8 (loops after)
Sqoon is a horizontally-scrolling shoot ’em up in which you play as a little pink submarine taking on the forces of the Neptunian army. The Neptunians have invaded Earth, melted the ice caps to flood the world, and taken human hostages for food (they call them “man-ham”). As Earth’s apparent last line of defense, the Sqoon submarine can fire missiles and drop bombs, but must always keep an eye on its fuel reserves, which are constantly ticking down.
It’s sort of surprising how complicated Sqoon is to play, considering its era. There are enemies constantly swarming in from the right in annoyingly-complex patterns (a few just go straight, but most spiral about in loops, and some will instantly reverse course and attack from behind the second you cross their vertical plane), plus alien bases along the bottom that can only be damaged by your bombs. Some of the bases when bombed expel five little humans, which you can swim around and collect. There are also killer whales on screen at all times that can’t damage your submarine but will eat any people you don’t grab. Once you have nine people on board, you’re all filled up, and a mechanical island base will appear at the top of the screen so you can drop them off. After you’ve returned nine to safety, it will release a power-up that upgrades your attack and refills your fuel.
However, your fuel will drain too quickly to rely on returning nine humans to restore it, so you also have to be on the lookout for giant enemy crabs. If you bomb a crab, it temporarily turns into a gold bar, and if you have a gold bar and at least one human, the island base will let you drop it off in exchange for another fuel tank. You can only hold one gold bar at a time so make sure you remember if you’ve already got one as you can easily be killed by the crabs if you’re not careful. They only remain a gold bar for a very brief time before turning back.
There are a lot of other weird mechanics in Sqoon as well. I don’t fully understand them all to be honest. At the beginning of each phase, there’s a little wormy guy on the ground, and if you bomb him quickly around a dozen times he’ll turn into a necklace that gives you a 1-up. Then at the end of most phases there’s an alien base you need to bomb, and a topless mermaid will often appear holding the same necklace, but you have to kill her before you she kills you (I think?). Also at the beginning of the phase is a sunken Earth city, and there is usually a 1-up to be found there (like a little panda in China), though sometimes when replaying a level the 1-up wouldn’t appear, and I don’t know why. Also, sometimes the whole screen went pitch black except for Sqoon and the enemy sprites, which, again, no clue why that happens or what it means.
After completing Phase 8, the game loops back to Phase 1. I’m aware that there are different messages that display on screen during the second and third loops (at the end of Phase 7 in the first loop, for example, it says the Neptunians will call for reinforcements), but since NESMania called it beaten after one loop, I’m fine doing the same. I don’t think Sqoon is a bad game (though it’s not necessarily a good game either), but I don’t think it’s fun enough to want to beat it three times in a row just to say I did. This is my Any % clear for Sqoon.
Dante Plays Old Games 